Bondage man

Bind him, chain him, bondage him

Bondage t-shirt and duvert
Bondage t-shirt and duvet

Tying people up is fun! Here’s how to do it for the first time.

Tying people up is fun! Here’s how to do it for the first time.

Communication is the key to all kinky play, and it’s absolutely essential here. Before any actual bondage takes place, talk to your activity partner about what you like, what you want to try, what you would be willing to try if they’re into it and what’s off-limits. A yes/no/maybe list can help. If you’ve never tied someone up or been tied up, you won’t know how you’ll react or what you’ll feel even if you think you do, and it’s okay to slow down and check in often. (If your play involves one partner saying “no” or “stop” and another ignoring it, make sure you have a verbal or physical signaling system that’s obviously out of context, such as using stoplight colors or dropping something small and loud.) The goal is to have fun but to do that you need to stay safe, sane and consensual, and communication is important.

The best rope for bondage is thick cotton or silk, as neither material slides or moves around too much once you tie it off. That kind of rope is expensive though, so unless you’re ready to really invest in rope bondage, go for solid-braid nylon rope in 7/16″ or 3/8″ in diameter from any hardware store. Unlike other types of rope, the knots will stay easy to untie even after you pull them around.

And unlike other types of toys, the rope is multi-purpose. You can make handcuffs like those below, but you can also make your own flogger, strap-on harness or belt, not to mention the infinite ways there are for restraining someone.

Before you begin to tie someone up, keep the following safety tips in mind:

+ Keep the rope loose enough that you can work two fingers between the rope and your activity partner’s skin. The goal is to restrain, not to cut off circulation. If the rope might get wet (it’s really hot and you’re both sweating, for example), leave it even looser.

+ Check circulation often by looking for areas of skin that might be turning blue or white. Check-in with your activity partner often, and make sure they notify you if they start to feel pins and needles or numbness.

+ Never tie a rope in a way that might restrict someone’s ability to breathe.

+ Never leave someone tied up alone.

+ Keep flat-edged medical safety scissors nearby in case you have to release someone quickly.

+ Go slowly. If you’re embarrassed to go slowly and feel self-conscious, try something like tying up your activity partner’s hands behind their back — they won’t be able to see what you’re doing or if you’re checking instructions on your phone, and going slower can feel agonizing in a good way.

Today’s rope handcuffs come from Back on the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys, a step-by-step guide to simple and intricate rope bondage. The directions below are for tying someone’s wrists together, but you could also tie someone’s ankles together, or tie wrists to ankles, or wrists or ankles to furniture. The wrap is thick enough that it feels very solid and kind of comfortable, and you can leave ropes dangling to pull your activity partner around by or tuck them in and lead your partner around by pulling on the wrap itself. Or anything else you can think of!

Here’s what you need for bondage…

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